


Insanity Broken by the Sun

by KingOMalley



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Broken Hearts, Insanity, M/M, major character death (kinda), more tags to come, non-explicit violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:43:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingOMalley/pseuds/KingOMalley
Summary: AU-ish thing: In which Percy has finally snapped under the pressure of all of the lives put on his shoulders. The guilt and grief finally makes him go mad, and the voices won't stop teasing him. Can he be brought out of his own guilt, or will he fall into despair? ApolloxPercy, murder, angst, slow updates (laziness), MxM (nothing explicit).Also posted on ff.net





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea after watching Deadman Wonderland and getting really frustrated, so bear with me please. If it's uber-bad, I'm really sorry. And, I'll tell you now, I haven't yet read Blood of Olympus, so I know the end is probably different from the book. Please don't flame at me for that.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

I stood on a tall hill that overlooked the battlefield the Second Giant War took place on, staring at the blood and carnage covering it. All because I wasn't strong enough to protect everyone. I had the power to stop all of the death, all of the blood and gore, and yet I didn't. The voices of those I couldn't save echoed through my head. Blamed me for their deaths and for the pain they suffered.

As I watched the battlefield, a [wave](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=1/#) of sick glee washed over me. 'Pretty,' I thought, staring at the blood staining the ground, and the mutilated bodies that went with it. I sadistic smile broke out on my face. I'm sure that if I could look in my eyes, I would see an insane gleam in them.

"Percy?" It was Annabeth. "Are you alright?" I looked down at the pool of blood beneath my feet and stretched my hand towards it. Using the [water](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=1/#) in the blood, I formed it into a long, lethal blade. "Percy?" I hardened the blood, grabbing the hilt of the blade.

Annabeth placed a hand on my shoulder. I quickly took a few steps forward, then spun around and slashed the sword down diagonally. It slashed along the blonde's chest and abdomen. Blood spurted from the wound and splashed onto my face. I grinned widely. "Per . . . cy . . ." Annabeth whispered, then fell forward onto the ground, hitting with a dulled thud.

I let out a short, mad laugh. "Beautiful," I muttered, watching the blood pool beneath the girl and stain her golden [hair](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=1/#) crimson.

"Oh my gods!" I heard someone behind me scream. Soon a huge crowd of demigods and Hunters alike were running towards me. I pulled Riptide out, taking the cap off with my teeth. Weapons were drawn and insults thrown. I only laughed gleefully and charged the crowd, slashing and hacking at people.

I chopped and slashed and stabbed and only when there were visible piles of my friends—my family—building up around me did I start to cry. And yet I still slashed and hacked. I lunged at Nico, sending attack after attack at him, and he blocked all of them. "What are you doing, Percy?! Look around you!" Those were the first words I'd heard since I attacked them.

I froze, then looked around me, lowering the blades. I looked at the dead bodies of the family I murdered, and the horrified and disgusted faces of the ones that were still alive. The swords dropped from my hands, clattering to the ground. Sobs wracked my body and tears flowed freely down my face as I looked at the chaos and death I'd caused. I fell to my knees and clutched my head.

"What have I done?! What have I . . . " I trailed off. [pain](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=1/#) overwhelmed me, radiating from my head. The voices wouldn't stop talking, whispering, shouting at me. I begged and pleaded them to stop, begged for forgiveness, begged for death. It felt as though I was poisoned. I couldn't move, I was in so much pain, and I couldn't do anything about it.

I squeezed my eyes shut, still sobbing and begging for everything to stop. I barely processed the various flashes of light that filtered through my eyelids. Someone placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away from it. "Don't touch me," I pleaded. "Please just don't touch me."

I could [hear](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=1/#) words being spoken and whispers flying through the air, but I blocked it all out. I slowly rocked my body back and forth, pain flaring through me like a fire. Someone tried to place a hand on my forehead, but I flinched away again. Firm yet gentle hands were placed on my body, holding me down firmly. No matter how much I struggled I couldn't break from them. I didn't want to open my eyes, fearing that the demons of Hell would be there to drag me back to Tartarus.

The hand placed itself on my forehead again. I could hear the mysterious person whisper unintelligible words. The voices started fading from my head, and I drifted into the dark abyss of my mind.

* * *

_They kept yelling, laughing, taunting, jeering at me. They wouldn't stop shouting at me, or telling me how it was all my fault that they died. They wouldn't leave me alone or give me some peace. I pleaded to them to stop, but they wouldn't. All of their faces flashed before my eyes._

_I fell to my knees and squeezed my eyes shut and begged them to stop, but they were merciless. They forced their way into my head, told me how much they hated me and that I should just go die. They wouldn't stop._

I woke up with a jolt, but kept my eyes closed and steadied my breathing. Voices reached my ears. ". . . don't know why he would go crazy like that. What could push him so far?" I recognized the voice as Chiron's.

"Oh, I don't know," came Nico's voice, surprisingly sarcastic. "Maybe forcing two wars on his shoulders without help, with the lives of everyone he cares about at stake? I don't blame him for going crazy like he did. I probably would too." I was confused for a second, but then the memories came flooding back. Tears dripped down the sides of my face onto the pillow and into my hair.

"I just wonder . . ." Nico began, "when did he learn how to use blood like that? Even his father hadn't thought of using it like that."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry." I rolled onto my side and sobbed into my hands, unable to handle the grief and guilt.

"Perce," I heard Nico say sadly. He carded his hand through my hair.

I tensed, then slapped his hand away. "Don't. Just . . . don't. I don't deserve kindness." My voice broke multiple times. "I killed them. All of them! How can you be so gentle?!" I yelled.

Nico was silent for a moment. The only sound in the room was my soft sobbing. "You weren't in your right mind. You went insane. It's not your fault."

My breath hitched. "I remember those moments. When I was killing them," I said softly. Nico gasped. "I . . . there was so much glee, so much peace in those few moments. I felt the happiest I'd been in a long time, no matter how sick it was. I didn't feel insane. Even now, the voices are there, teasing me and taunting me. It's-" I stopped talking. "Just leave me alone."

"You can't be left alone," Chiron said, finally speaking up. "We don't know if you'll snap again."

"Then just kill me!" both of the men in the room gasped in shock. "Get rid of the threat all together!"

"We're doing this to help you as well," Chiron said. I could feel his worried gaze on my back. "Until Mr. D gets back from his meeting on Olympus, we have to make sure you don't snap."

"What could Mr. D do?!" I shouted at them, sitting up.

Both of them jumped. "Well, he's the god of insanity, so-"

"You don't get it! This won't just go away with a snap of a god's fingers! It isn't as easy as that! It never is. I bet you that right now they're talking about how to execute me! They're probably talking about the worst way to torture me before they end my miserable life!" The two looked at me in stunned shock. I was breathing heavily, and tears blurred my vision. "With what I've done, I deserve it." I whispered these words so low that Chiron's eagle ears barely caught them.

A snap of fingers came from the doorway. It was Mr. D. "It is that easy," he said, smirking. I glared at him.

"Will it make the guilt go away? The dreams? The voices? No, it won't," I said, intensifying my glare. "It won't do anything for me but make it more painful." Mr. D flinched under my harsh gaze, but I paid it no mind.

"We came to the conclusion that you either get your mind healed by me, or you'll be killed for murder of the gods' children, and the Hunters. So make your choice, Peter Johnson," Mr. D told me mockingly.

"One," I began venomously, "my name is Percy Jackson. And two, the gods can kill me if they like, but I won't let you do anything to my mind."

"Percy!" Nico protested, anger in his eyes. I flinched at the harshness in his eyes, but stayed strong.

"No, Nico. I refuse to let the gods mess with me any more than they already have," I told him, looking him straight in the eyes. The son of Hades stayed quiet, understanding the meaning behind those words.

"Then we must take you to Olympus,  _Peter Johnson,"_ Mr. D. told me, then snapped his fingers. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the throne room of the Olympian gods. All of them looked down on me with a myriad of different emotions.

Some looked at me with hatred or disgust, some looked at me with pity or sadness, and others just looked at me with no emotion at all. It took all of my willpower not to bend under all of their gazes. I kept an impassive expression, ignoring the tears staining my face.

I met my father's eyes and saw only disappointment and disgust in them. I quickly averted my gaze. Of course he was disappointed in me. I was supposed to be the Hero of Olympus, strong and indestructible. And here I was, gone insane and the murderer of my comrades. I couldn't see how anyone could look at me with pity or sympathy or  _anything_ other than disgust and hatred and disappointment.

"Perseus Jackson," Zeus boomed, drawing me out of my thoughts, "are you aware that, if you choose  _not_ to be treated by Dionysus, then you will be sentenced to death for the murder of your fellow demigods?"

"It's not as if you haven't killed demigods as well," I bit out, glaring darkly at the king of the gods. Anger was obvious on Zeus' face. "And don't even think about using the 'immortal deity with ultimate rights' card on me. That's bullshit."

"How dare you speak to me that way?!" Zeus roared. He pulled his weapon out and aimed it at me. "If you wish for death, then I shall bring it to you." The air around me crackled with electricity.

"Brother," my father finally spoke up. "You need to calm down." I refused to meet anyone's eyes after that. Arguments erupted around the huge room, and fights ensued. I flinched at each yell. Then, suddenly, the voices in my head started yelling, too. They yelled, screamed, whispered, and taunted me. I fell to my knees, clutching my head.

Nobody noticed, too busy arguing to even glance at me. Tears rolled down my face. "Please, just stop," I begged, over and over again.

"Silence!" Someone yelled, louder than all of the other voices. I didn't know who it was that yelled. I didn't care either. I just wanted the voices to leave me alone. I wanted peace.

' _You don't deserve peace,'_ the voices told me.  _'You're a murderer. A killer. An insane maniac. All you deserve is pain.'_

I felt eyes on me, felt hands on me, heard voices outside of my head. I didn't acknowledge any of it. "Just put him out of his misery already!" I heard Apollo yell. "He doesn't deserve this kind of torture!"

I glanced up at him and saw the pain he was going through. From seeing me in this state. It was my fault. The voices agreed with me. I pleaded with them to stop talking, to be quiet  _for one second._ They didn't listen.

More fighting broke out. This time about me, about what they should do with me. Some of them wished for me to be ended mercifully (Apollo, Hermes, Hades, and Hestia), while the rest wanted me to have a painful and torturous death (the rest).

I wasn't sure which one sounded better. The one that would distract me from the voices in my head, or the one that would allow me to apologize to those I killed. Both were inviting. But there was no point in thinking about it. I wouldn't have a say in it.

All of the voices that echoed around me became quiet. The only sound in the throne room was my soft sobbing and pleas, and the sound of someone rustling around in a bag. A hand gently grabbed my arm and brought it down from my head. I stopped talking and looked up at Apollo. He looked so sad, as if someone close to him had just died.

"It'll be over soon, Perce," he whispered to me, then injected me with a strange black liquid. Darkness began flashing in my line of vision. The voices faded from my head. I fell forward into the sun god's arms, then lost consciousness


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

My head was pounding incessantly when I finally woke up. My eyes flickered open, and I was met with darkness, and I almost thought I was dead, until I realized I was laying on silk sheets, which were, in turn, on top of a soft, fluffy [mattress](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=2/#).

That was all I could observe in those few moments before I was hit with a sudden wave of intense nausea. I stumbled out of the bed, in need of a trash can or a toilet or  _something_ to throw up in so I wouldn't make a mess, but was forced to lean against the wall when a [dizzy](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=2/#) spell came over me.

I staggered around the room, leaning against the wall in search of a bathroom, and going around anything I ran into. Finally, after what felt like forever, I found a door. I opened it and switched the light on.

Instead of admiring the amazing beauty and detail that went into the bathroom, I went straight for the porcelain toilet, emptying my stomach contents into the bowl. I was horrified to see blood coming up, but my thoughts were stopped completely when I retched again.

I started feeling even dizzier than before. Rushed footsteps got louder and louder until they reached the bathroom I was in. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Apollo looking at me with a shocked and worried expression.

"Oh, gods. Percy," he breathed, kneeling down next to me and rubbing soothing circles into my back and [moving](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=2/#) my now long hair out of my face as I retched again. More blood came up. I dry heaved a few times, and then fell limp and exhausted into the sun god's arms.

I felt so tired, and my eyelids started to droop, but I stayed awake as Apollo said, "C'mon, Perce! You've got to stay awake for me, okay? Don't fall asleep."

I barely processed it when Apollo said something about me having a dangerously high fever. I tried to stay awake for as long as I could, but soon it was too hard to keep my eyes open, and I drifted off into the land of unconsciousness again.

**-PJO—PJO—PJO-**

For an unknown amount of time, I went in and out of consciousness constantly, only catching bits and pieces of what Apollo said when he was there through my fever-induced delirium. And when I wasn't going in and out of consciousness, I was dreaming.

I dreamed about the past, about nightmarish things happening to me and those I love, and I dreamed about Apollo. And before you ask, no, it was nothing inappropriate. Most of the time we were sitting in each other's company, either talking about anything and everything, or we were in a comfortable silence.

He even kissed me sweetly, even lovingly, once. He even told me he was in love with me. But I knew that could never be true. He was a god, and I was a broken doll, something used and tainted and  _dirty._ Someone as important and amazing as him could never love someone as disgusting and shattered like me.

When I finally woke up, wrapped in Apollo's warm embrace, I started crying. My shaking form and soft sobbing seemed to wake the sun god up, and he started comforting me as he had in the bathroom, rubbing soothing circles into my back and carding a relaxing hand through my [hair](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=2/#).

"Shh. Calm down, love," he whispered to me. "Tell me what's wrong."

I cried into his chest, hiding my tear stained face. "Why am I alive? Why do I have to be alive?" I asked him, my voice breaking multiple times.

Apollo's breath hitched, and his comforting actions paused for a short moment. I continued speaking, despite my tears. "I just want it all to end, the pain and the stares and  _everything!_ It hurts too much. I don't want to be the Savior of Olympus two times over anymore. I just want peace."

Apollo sat up and pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him. I wrapped my arms around his abdomen and buried my face in his chest once more, but was forced to look up at him by a gentle hand on my face.

My tears stopped flowing and my eyes went wide when a pair of soft, gentle lips pressed against my own. Before my mind processed anything, Apollo pulled away and gave me a smile. "If you want peace, then stay with me. There won't be any stares here, and you won't be treated badly for what you couldn't help happening. Stay with me, and I can make the pain stop. If you'd like, that is."

I looked into his eyes, searching for something that could tell me he was lying or deceiving me. When I found none, the tears came again. "But  _why?!_ Why would want someone like me? I'm broken and scarred and insane! You're an immortal god that could have anyone you want, so why  _me_?!"

"Because I love you," he told me, smiling and wiping the tears off of my face with soft movements. "And I want you to be happy. It's been so long since I've seen you give a real smile, not since after the Titan War. I want to be the one to make you smile again."

I stared at him, stunned. "B-but, there's no way you could love someone like me! I'm tainted and weak and-and I've  _killed_ my own comrades. How-"

Apollo cut me off with another kiss. "I love you, Percy. And I know you love me. So what's holding you back?" A soft blush spread across my cheeks, but I ignored it.

"Because I'd be the worst boyfriend ever," I told him, looking at him with serious eyes. "I couldn't even make love with you."

Apollo cocked an eyebrow, looking at me inquisitively. I sighed, looking down as tears rose in my eyes again. Why was I so fucking weak?! "I'm not normal. Every time I think about sex, or having it with someone, it makes me feel sick. I know I'd never be able to do with anyone, not even you."

I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't tell him why I was like this in the first place. And I couldn't tell him that the sickness I felt in my stomach when I thought about having sex was really fear, not disgust. I wasn't ready to tell someone. Not yet.

"Then we can deal with it as it comes," Apollo said to me, touching his forehead to mine. Although I could see absolute love in his eyes, I could also see disappointment there. I'd disappointed him. The thought made me frown.

I hid the frown by hugging the god tightly. I was suddenly very tired. I fell asleep against the sun god's chest without realizing it, carried away into Morpheus' realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter two. I hope you guys liked it and continue reading! Review, favorite, follow, and PM me with any ideas you may have.
> 
> Until next time . . .
> 
> ~O'Malley out!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Apollo took care of me for the next couple of days, making sure that my [fever](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=3/#) was gone and my body was healthy. He was always gentle, and made sure that I was always comfortable. I felt guilty for making him do all that for me, but he constantly assured me that it was no trouble.

On the third night, while we were eating dinner, which consisted of lemon chicken, rice, and carrots, I asked Apollo, "Why am I not dead? Wasn't what you injected me with poison?"

Apollo picked up our now empty plates and brought them to the sink, setting them down inside, then settling back down at the table across from me. "Well, it was technically poison, but not really," he responded.

I furrowed my brows. "What?" I wasn't sure what he meant by that.

Apollo thought for a minute. "I guess it's what you would call a . . . pseudo-poison. It has the effects of poison, but they wear off after a certain amount of time."

"Is that why I started coughing blood up?" I asked.

Apollo winced at my question. "No, actually. I'm not sure what caused that, but I know that I never want to see you like that again. It terrified me. I was afraid you weren't going to make it for a while there."

Noticing his discomfort at what I asked, I stood up and went over to him, then sat on his lap shyly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, trying to push down the blush that rose in my cheeks.

"Sorry for asking," I muttered. The sun god seemed to be in shock for a couple of seconds, but relaxed quickly and hugged me around the waist, burying his nose into my [hair](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=3/#) in response.

"It's fine. It's not your fault that it happened," he whispered back. "I just wish you hadn't had to go through something like that."

"Me, too," I breathed. We sat in silence for a few minutes, reveling in each other's warmth. I didn't want to let go, but I knew I had to get up some time.

So I stood up from his lap, pulling him up with me. "Let's do something," I said. "I don't want to be cooped up in your house forever, no matter how nice it is." I smiled at him.

"Hmm," Apollo hummed. "Then what would you like to do?" The man looked at me expectantly.

I thought for a bit. "How about we go see Hestia? I know she'd like to know if I'm alive."

Apollo grinned. "Perfect. And the past few days, she's been complaining to me about how much she misses her Percy. She probably suspects."

I laughed at that. "Of course she does. She's always been good at sensing that kind of thing."

Apollo smiled gently at me, and cupped my cheek. "You should smile more. It suits you more than that sad expression you always have."

I nuzzled his hand, placing my own over his. "I know. Sometimes it's just too painful to smile, though." Apollo pressed our foreheads together, still cupping my cheek.

"Then let me take your pain away," he whispered, and gently pressed his lips against mine. I pushed back slightly, almost unnoticeably. The kiss felt like it lasted forever, yet only a single moment, before Apollo finally pulled away.

"Let's go see Hestia, then," he told me, grinning and taking my hand, warning me to [close](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=3/#) my eyes before flashing us away from his house.

I felt my feet hit the ground, and my knees buckled. I felt disoriented and dizzy. Apollo steadied me until I recovered.

"How do gods travel like that so much?" I groaned.

"You get used to it," a feminine voice said from behind me. I spun around and saw Hestia in her adult form. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly.

When she pulled back from the hug, she smiled gently at me, like a mother would. "I missed you," she said.

"And I missed you," I responded, smiling just as warmly back. Apollo's arms wrapped around my waist from behind, pulling me away from Hestia a bit.

He placed his head on my shoulder. "Don't get too close or I might get jealous of you," he told the goddess with a childish smile. I scoffed.

I looked around us and saw we were in the most beautiful garden I'd ever seen, even more so than Calypso's. There were [flowers](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=3/#) of every kind and variety, even Moonlace, which glowed quicksilver in the moonlight.

"Is this your garden, Hestia?" I asked, awestricken.

She nodded, looking around with a serene expression.

"Percy," she said, pulling me out of my dazed state. I looked at her curiously. "I have an offer for you, one that I think you will find very inviting."

Apollo unwrapped his arms from around my waist and took my hand standing next to me.

"What is it, Lady Hestia?" I asked, tilting my head to the side in intrigue.

"How would you feel about becoming my Champion?" she asked. "You would be the very first person I bestow my powers upon."

My eyes widened in shock. "B-but why me, Lady Hestia?"

"Because you are the kindest, most honest mortal I've ever met, and it would be my honor to bless you," she told me, giving me another warm smile.

"Then, I accept," I told her happily. I glanced at Apollo, who was giving me an encouraging look. I pulled my hand from his and kneeled in front of the goddess of the hearth.

I saw strange runes form in a circle around me as Hestia began speaking. "I bless you, Perseus Jackson, with my powers over the hearth and hope, and name you my Champion from now until your soul is ferried into the Underworld to be laid to rest."

The runes began glowing even brighter, and soon they became blinding. And then suddenly the bright light dimmed and I was kneeling in front of Hestia again. I stood up and glanced down at my hands, which glowed with runes before fading away into pale silver tattoos.

I knew that if I pulled my long sleeves up that I would have tattoos on my arms as well. I asked Hestia, "What exactly does being your Champion and having your blessing entail?"

"First, you have control over fire, which you can summon at will, you can summon any type of food you might desire at will as well, you have control over hope, meaning giving  _and_ taking, you're stronger than before, and you have immortality similar to that of the Hunters. You can die if mortally wounded, but you won't age," she said, beaming proudly at me. "Oh, right! You've also changed physically, but not too much."

I raised a brow. Apollo smirked and summoned a full-body mirror. I looked at my reflection in awe. My hair had dark auburn tints to it in some places, but not so much that it looked strange, and it made my hair almost seem like black fire. My skin regained some of its natural tan, as well. My physique changed somewhat, too. Now I was more lean and lithe. My eyes seemed to be the biggest change, though.

They were still sea green, but changed like the ocean, shifting from bright green, to a pale green, to deep blue, and then to a grey that the ocean would be during a [storm](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=3/#).

As suddenly as the awe of my change, it left. The voices in my head that had become background noise got louder and louder, becoming deafening. I cried out and fell back into Apollo, clutching my ears tightly.

It felt like my head was exploding and being thrown into lava and being crushed all at the same time.

"Percy?!" Apollo shouted. I couldn't see his face because my eyes were squeezed shut, but I knew that he looked terrified. I started begging them to stop again, all of the voices that haunted me, but they refused once again. Tears leaked from my eyes and stained Apollo's shirt.

Said god was holding me tightly in his arms, trying to calm me down and get me to focus on him, but I couldn't. I was in too much pain.

 _You don't deserve to be happy. You killed all of us and took our futures away, and we'll take yours,_  the voices hissed like a horrifying symphony, forming into one huge entity.

And then the huge, terrifying voice suddenly screamed out, and I lost consciousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's chapter three. I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> Anyway, favorite, follow, review, and PM me. Until next time . . .
> 
> ~O'Malley out!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's grossness in this chapter, in the form of bugs and rotting corpses, so if that's not your thing, pls don't read. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Dark, suffocating blackness surrounded me on all sides, stretching on into an endless nothing that couldn't be seen or explored. I felt it shifting, moving around my body, squeezing it and caressing it and making me [dizzy](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=4/#) with heat.

My skin burned painfully, as though I had a fever, and the heavy warmth that wrapped around me like a snake made me all the more aware of it. I squinted into the darkness, watched it carefully for something,  _anything,_ which could help me get away from the unbearable heat.

When I finally thought it was hopeless and was about to give up, I saw something move way out in the distance, so far away I almost waved it off as insignificant, but when it was suddenly in front of me, I couldn't hold back a scream.

In front of me was Annabeth, but it wasn't at the same time. Her skin was slowly deteriorating, and from the short distance away from me that she was, I could smell the stench of death. It burned into my nostrils and gave me the urge to throw up.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her [moving](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=4/#) corpse. I could see  _things_ moving over her skin, into the rotten patches covering her body, and I realized with continually growing horror that they were maggots, crawling all over and inside of her.

' _You did this to me, Percy,'_ she hissed, and I began to tremble when I realized that it was the same voice that I'd heard before I passed out.  _'You killed me and took away my future. You don't deserve to be happy.'_

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm so, so sorry, Annie." Tears were streaming down my face.

' _I loved you,'_ she continued.  _'We could've been together, had a family and jobs and a life, but it's too late for that now. And now, before it's too late, I'm going to take what is[mine](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=4/#).'_

To my disgust and horror, Annabeth leaned forward and pressed her cold, clammy lips against mine, allowing maggots to crawl into my mouth and down my throat. She pulled away with a final smirk and crumbled to dust. I choked on the tiny creatures, coughing and hacking, but they wouldn't leave me.

On the contrary, I could  _feel them_ moving through my body, and I could feel the pain they brought as they ate away at me from the inside out. I screamed out in agony.

And then the pain disappeared, along with any sign that the larvae had been there. A bright light filled the nothingness that I was in, forcing me to shield my eyes.

When I could finally see, there was a funeral. I was confused, before the dread and sorrow came crashing down on me at the sight of the pyre they were burning.

There was a silk cloth on the body, hiding it from sight, coloured pale green, with a dark, almost black, green trident outlined in silver embroidered on it.

"No," I breathed in denial. "I can't be dead. I  _can't_ be."

I looked around and saw that we were on Montauk, and there were only two people in front of the pyre. It was Apollo and Hestia, both looking sadly at the structure. Apollo took a few steps forward with shaky steps, toward the pyre, holding a flaming torch.

With a shuddering gasp, he threw it onto the silk laden body and stepped back again, grasping onto Hestia's hand. I fell to my knees.

"No!" I shouted. "Please, no! I can't leave him!" I didn't even look at my burning body, only paying attention to the grief-stricken look Apollo and Hestia both held. The goddess of the hearth pulled the sun god into her arms, holding him tightly, both to comfort him and herself.

The words that Apollo said next, to the me on the pyre, broke my heart completely. I let out long, pain-filled sob.  _'I'll never touch anyone again. I love you, Perce. You're the one for me, and now that you're gone, there's no need to love anyone again. Goodbye, my dear.'_

I screamed out, long and loud, unable to handle the guilt and grief and  _agony_ in Apollo's voice, in those words. I didn't move from my spot for a long time, listening to the crying of the two gods and the waves gently hitting the sand as I shook silently.

I felt the two walk past me slowly, leaving my body there to burn. I stayed there long after the fire burned out and all that was left was ash. I couldn't find the energy to move. I stared up at the silver moon, shining gloriously on the glass-like water and making it look like an ocean of quicksilver.

"Please, just take me away," I begged quietly. "Someone, take me away from this hell." A warm, gentle hand landed on my shoulder, and I saw a man standing there, seemingly just as beautiful as the moon.

"Perseus," he said softly, voice like wind-chimes in a soft breeze. "I can give you a second chance, so that you can be with the one that you love."

My eyes widened, and I stared at the man, taking in his genuine features. He had dark, crimson [hair](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=4/#) cut short, but long enough to move in the wind, pale, almost white skin, shining eyes that looked like molten silver, and a lean build.

"How?" I asked hoarsely. The man smiled kindly at me, kneeling next to me in the sand.

"Take up a new name, a new personality, and a new appearance, until I tell you to reveal yourself," he said, voice as soft as the breeze blowing on us. "Hide from the sight of the gods, but do what you like. And when I tell you, you can reveal yourself to those you please, and you may have your lover once again."

I frowned, considering my choices. "What's the catch?"

The man laughed. "There is no catch, unless taking my blessing counts." I liked the sound of his laugh.

"First," I said slowly, "tell me your name. Who are you?" My question seemingly amused the man, as he chuckled slightly, but he answered anyway.

"I'm just a man who wants to help," he said, "but if you want something to call me, then call me Zevran."

I looked back at the ocean, and thought. If it was the chance to be with Apollo again . . . who was I to pass up the chance? But it could also be a trap. No, I had to take the chance. Nothing could be worse than what I was going through already.

"I accept your offer, Zevran," I told him determinedly. The red-head grinned at me, then offered me his hand as he stood up. I took the pale hand, surprised at how warm it was. I allowed him to pull me up.

I wasn't sure what to do, but I didn't need to know, as Zevran placed his hand on my head and closed his eyes, chanting under his breath. I felt power flowing into me, and suddenly everything surrounding me came into sharp focus. I could hear the flutter of a butterfly's wings, could smell the scent of the forest strawberry fields at Camp Half-Blood, could see the unnoticeable ripples in the [water](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=4/#), and I could sense everything surrounding me even with my eyes closed.

And then he pulled his hand away, grinning triumphantly at me. "It's done," he breathed. "Now, before I reveal you to anyone nearby, I'll need you to change."

Out of nowhere, the man pulled clothes from behind his back, handing them to me. There was a long, black jacket with a hood that reached down to the back of my knees, dark blue jeans, a light green long-sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of black boots outlined with a silver-green material that reached my knees.

I quickly changed into the clothes, a bit shy knowing that Zevran was watching me, and then handed him my old clothes, which he promptly poofed away.

"But wait, there's more," he said. Then he pulled two things from behind his back. A porcelain mask, looking as though it was fitted only for my face, and a long, elegant sword. "The mask is your disguise. When you put it on, people see a completely different person, but to you, it's just like any other mask. And the sword, it's enchanted to freeze anything you cut or stab with it. To make up for the loss of Riptide."

I jolted at the mention of the loss of my sword, only then realizing I hadn't seen it since I woke up in Apollo's home. I guessed that my father took it away, no longer deeming me worthy of it.

"And finally," Zevran began, "the extent of the powers I just blessed you with. You would probably like to know what they are, wouldn't you?" I only nodded, unsure what to say.

"My blessing has sharpened all of your senses, improved your control over water, and given you the ability to go in and out of the realm of the dead, which you are in right now," he said. "Makes for a great hiding place." He grinned at his last statement, and I returned it.

My smile slipped soon, though. "Will I be able to see you again?" I asked.

Zevran nodded. "I'll be here whenever you'd like to talk, so don't worry about that."

A thought suddenly came to mind. "What  _is_ this place? It's definitely not the Underworld."

The redhead smiled fondly, looking around. "It's my home. I choose who comes here, and who leaves. You could say it's my own personal Underworld."

I smiled, then placed the mask on my face. I walked over to the ocean and looked at my reflection. What I saw stunned me. I had deeply tanned skin, wild, white hair, amber coloured eyes, and a more feminine build, but not so much so I looked like a girl.

"Oh," I whispered. I turned back to the man, who was waiting patiently for me. "I'm ready," I told him.

A flash of darkness, and suddenly I was standing in the middle of a forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four, here you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Favorite, follow, review, and PM me. Until next time . . .
> 
> ~O'Malley out


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I kind of feel like this story is shit, but please let me know what you think of the developments so far. I'm really curious about you guys' take on it. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

**-PJO—PJO—PJO- Ten Years Later –PJO—PJO—PJO-**

I ran swiftly and silently through the evergreen forest, dodging tree after tree and arrow after silver arrow. The soft breeze blowing against my face as I sprinted was refreshing and cool, making the game of [chase](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=5/#) all the more worth it.

Not only did I get to tease the Hunters of Artemis, but I also got to get a good, peaceful run in as well. The run became decidedly less peaceful as the silver clad Hunters closed in on me, speeding up their own running to keep sight of me.

I began to summon energy into my palm, which formed a purple ball of magic. The density of the magic began to reach its peak, and as I was about to slip into Zevran's realm, he spoke to me.

' _Let yourself get caught,'_ he told me with a trace of satisfaction in his tone.

My breath hitched and excitement coursed through my veins.  _'Does this mean-'_ I started, but Zevran beat me to the punch.

' _The time to reveal yourself is getting near,'_ he said, and I could hear his smile. He probably sensed my excitement and joy.

I started slowing down a bit, acting as though I was getting winded and tired. Shouts of triumph came from behind me as I was pinned to a tree by two arrows.

I acted like I was struggling (even though, in reality, I could have easily escaped), and patiently waited for the Hunters to catch up. The arrows were yanked out of the tree, and I was forced to my knees by Thalia and Phoebe in front of a twelve year old Artemis.

"So,  _boy,_ " the goddess sneered, "what are you doing in a forest that is under my jurisdiction?"

My lips twitched up into a smirk. "I was travelling through the area innocently, minding my own business, when suddenly you lot began chasing me. It's not my fault." I shrugged at the end for [effect](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=5/#).

Artemis glared down at me. "You interrupted my Hunt, and you say you were  _minding your own business?_ I thought boys had grown smarter these days, but it seems not."

My smirk widened almost imperceptibly. "I didn't intend to interrupt your Hunt, Lady Artemis. I only meant to help you take down the monster that was attacking you. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused you."

Zevran snorted.  _'You? Sorry? I think not.'_ I forced myself not to laugh.

Artemis scowled at me. "Thalia, Phoebe, escort him back to the camp with us. I want to ask him some questions." I was forced to my feet, and then suddenly we were standing in the middle of the camp of the Hunters of Artemis.

I let the two women take me into a tent and chain me to a strange metal wall. Two wolves entered as Thalia and Phoebe left. They walked slowly toward me, snarling predatorily.

I looked both of them in the eye, giving them a harsh glare that left them whimpering in fear and respect. They approached me and nuzzled my legs, curling up at my feet as if to keep me warm.

I gave a gentle smile. And then Artemis stepped into the tent, making my smile disappear in an [instant](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=5/#). She looked slightly impressed at the feat, but said nothing about it.

"So, Alexander, what is your real identity?" she asked me, and I was mildly surprised by her bluntness, but quickly brushed it off.

"Excuse me, Lady Artemis, but I don't know what you're talking about," I said with as much innocence as I could muster. "As far as I know, I'm the person you just named."

She glared darkly at me. "I know illusions when I see them, no matter how strong or deceiving they may be. Now, I will ask again. What is your real identity?"

I only cocked my head in mock confusion. The goddess' expression hardened.

"Then what was your purpose for being in this forest?" she asked me, changing her question.

My lips quirked up again, only furthering the moon goddess' irritation. "I've already told you, my lady. I was only travelling through this forest when I crossed you and your Hunters." It wasn't a complete lie. I  _was_ travelling through the forest, only I  _meant_ to cross them. I couldn't miss a chance to mess with them again.

At the seemingly sincere look in my eyes, Artemis accepted the answer. "And you will not reveal who you really are?" she asked once again, annoyance dripping from her words.

My answering smile told Artemis all she needed to know. With a final sneer in my [direction](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=5/#), she strode out of the tent, wolves following reluctantly behind her.

I let out a small sigh. I was surprised she didn't use any painful methods of torture to get the answers out of me. I was going to [continue](https://www.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=11000645&chapter=5/#) that line of thought, but was interrupted by a flash of crimson fire signaling a god flashing in.

I blinked owlishly at Hestia. "Lady Hestia," I said respectfully, bowing my head in acknowledgement. She stomped up to me in her older form and slapped me hard across the face, making the mask fly off. It clattered to the ground a few feet away from me.

My now pale skin, black hair tinted with auburn, and ever-changing sea green eyes were revealed. I looked up at the goddess with shock and sadness. There were tears gathered in her eyes, and anger blazed throughout her being, giving her a faint, red outline.

I smiled sadly at her, tears of my own gathering. "It's good to see you again." I didn't let myself cry. I didn't deserve as much.

' _Sorry, Zevran,'_ I told him.  _'It seems like the act is up.'_

Said man chuckled.  _'It's alright. I'm actually the one who told her you were alive.'_ I scowled at him inwardly. He laughed again.

And suddenly arms were around my neck and a goddess was crying into my chest.

"Ten years, Perseus!" she cried. " _Ten years!"_

"I'm sorry," was the only thing I could offer to her. And then she pulled away and looked furious again.

"'Sorry' isn't going to cut it, Perseus!" she snapped. "Do you realize what Apollo has been going through all these years, all of the pain he's felt?! Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

I let some of the agony that I'd felt in the last few years through to my sad expression. "I . . . I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm just . . . sorry." My voice was soft.

At the sight of my expression, Hestia's gaze softened some. She brushed a stray hair out of my face. "I apologize for my outburst. But you should still think about what you've done to him. I don't think you know how much he's changed. Or how much he hurts."

With that, the goddess flashed back out, giving me one last hug and placing the mask back on my face. Artemis came back into the tent.

"I've just spoken with my father," she told me. "He has ordered me to take you to Olympus immediately."

I stared blankly at her, giving no reaction outwardly, while on the inside I was trying to organize my thoughts. Artemis grabbed me roughly by the upper arm, and brought me to Olympus in a flash of silver. I turned and faced the Olympian gods.

**-Meanwhile, with Hestia—**

The goddess of the hearth flashed into her garden, tears of both joy and anger still in her eyes, although they'd stopped falling. "Why does he never think of the consequences?" she whispered to herself.

"I don't think you quite understand, my lady," a man said behind her. She spun around in surprise and saw the red haired man who told her about Percy.

She frowned at him slightly. "What don't I understand? Percy never revealed himself, despite being alive and near the man who gave up on love for him. What exactly am I not understanding?"

Zevran smiled kindly, almost sadly, at her. "I thought you would've seen the pain Percy was in, but somehow, you missed it." He said this to himself under his breath, but Hestia still caught it.

"I am the one who told him not to reveal himself until I told him to do so," the man said. "That was our deal. This whole time, I've regretted making Percy do that, after seeing the pain he was in, but I couldn't change my plans. He's been forcing himself to stay quiet about his identity this whole time, suffering in silence."

'What?' Hestia mouthed to herself, brow furrowing in thought.

"Did you know," Zevran continued, "that Perce was there during his funeral, the one you two performed for him? It was painful for me to watch him cry, to shout that he couldn't be dead, he couldn't leave Apollo. It almost hurt physically. I know that he's wanted to reveal his identity more than anything for the last ten years, but he stopped himself for my selfish needs."

Hestia's tears fell again, this time of sorrow and grief. Her crying was interrupted by an Iris Message appearing in the air in front of her. She pushed her tears away before they could be seen. The goddess vaguely noticed Zevran disappearing.

"I apologize for my tardiness," she told Hermes, who looked expectantly at her. "I just got distracted. I'll be on my way immediately."

She flashed away in a gentle, orange fire, appearing in front of her hearth on Olympus where Percy was being interrogated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next time... 
> 
> ~KingOMalley

**Author's Note:**

> There's the first chapter of Insanity. I'm not sure whether to continue it or not, so I'll just leave it alone for now. Drop a comment and tell me how I did. And if I should continue it. Thanks for reading! Until next time . . .
> 
> ~O'Malley out!


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